This was one of the things that helped me stop years ago...

"Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television"
by Jerry Mander

1) I think I deleted someone's comment by accident. Sorry

2) You got rid of your cable? Now you're going to miss out on such beneficial programming as The L Word and The O'Reilly Factor.

"Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television"
by Jerry Mander"

I've always wanted to reead that book. And I hear once you read it, you can never look back and it just changes your perception forever. Since I'll have some free time now, maybe I'll pick it up at that place with all those books...what was it called again? :P

You got rid of your cable? Now you're going to miss out on such beneficial programming as The L Word and The O'Reilly Factor."

We didn't have Showtime, so we never had the benefit of watching the L-word, alhamdulillah.

Here's a good anti-TV website I found many years ago:

http://www.turnoffyourtv.com/

Assalaamu Alaikum:

Br. Rami, That was Victoria you were refering to...

I always thought that Data was the most refreshing character in Star Trek series...he was like a kid...curious on anything and everything that intrigued him...and it did not take much to get him intrigued.

Hmmm...its much easier to drop cable if you dont take any of the programs seriously, including news channels...yes there are those educational and learning channels which can be worth your while....

My TV is now used for one purpose only....and that is usually to get the fastest lap on the Nurburgring during weekends with various customized cars, or be the Master Chief and kick some Covenants/Floods behind!

Ma'Assalaama

"or be the Master Chief and kick some Covenants/Floods behind!"

Ok, it might be cuz I dont watch tv, but am I the only one that had no idea what that meant?

Salaam:

Sister J: I use TV for only XBOX games...and Master Chief is the main character in the game "HALO" that zaps Aliens (i.e. Covenants/Floods).

Hey this is a promising news from Texas (for us speed buffs)....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/usatoday/20060517/ts_usatoday/texascouldaccelerateto80mph

Ma'Assalaama

Salaam:

This really bugs me....I think I mentioned sometime earlier to the effect that I am afraid if the Palestinians may start cutting each other's throat....Subhan'Allah.

The sistuation in Gaza is not very uplifting....

http://news.yahoo.com/fc/world/mideast_conflict

Ma'Assalaama

turn off the TV

and that "white noise" in your mind disappears.

and if you have kids... PLEASE TURN OFF THE TV !

a brief insight into a 7 year old's mind:

i went over my mother's house this past mother's day and my 5 cousins (age range 9-3 years old) came over. The 7-year old stormed in and greeted "HELLO DIMSDALE! ". No salaam. Then, you look at them with that "look" and they immediately spit out "slalikum saima baji" and put their hand out to shake my hand and run off immediately. ALL 5 of them are glued to the television set.. as if they weren't at home. The youngest of them, the 3 year old girl, comes up to me and says "Hi Saima Baji, what's up".

when they were younger... they used to fight like power rangers.. now they talk like fairy odd-parents doing spider-man like stunts.

the passing-off of responsiblity of parenting just so to "do housework" has some startling consequences. people have to begin to realize that the television set is NOT an alternative to a babysitter. Spend time with your children. It won't cost you a dime (in contrast to 49.95 a month for cable)

Saima

Salaam:

Excellent insight, sister Saima...

Folks...expecially those who plan to marry or already married...take a pick from the two options...

Either dont have kids (but have TV)

OR

Dont have TV (if you have/want kids)

Ma'Assalaama

Salaam:

Sister Saima Iqbal:

Your son cannot pronounce "Laam" or "L" sound, which is same for Japanese folks, they have difficult time pronouncing L or R and so they choose a sound something in between...

You know I saw a lot of movies and TVs with my siblings growing up (in the 70s-80s)...but i think the programs back then were very clean and decent...be they in Pakistan or in Nigeria...

I think the culture has changed, the people have changed, and now our kids are really overwhelmed with info. overload (from TVs & Internet) and what not...that they have become more selective in hearing what pleases to them...this obviously causes them to have short attention span, especially if it is not a catchy phrase or cool stuff for them....

Sometimes, I think, the young muslims (and humankind in general) are moving fast...perhaps too fast towards an information climax, which can have long term repercussions if not checked and balanced by the current generation...

Someone was saying that when they had kids like 30-40 years ago, the babies would have their fist clenched, and eyes shut most of the time...but babies of today (and I mean newborn here) have eyes rolling on all possible axis and more animated in their gesture...I mean just look at a kid age 2-3 nowadays...they can talk a storm if you let them...this was never the case a generation or two ago...Subhan'Allah.

Obviously, this is all part of Allah's Grand plan and so we shall see what happens in the years and decade to come....

Ma'Assalaama

I sent this article out on a few e-mail lists. Here's one response I got:

"Walaikum As Salaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu:

Masha'Allah, may Allah reward you for taking this step. Lol, very nicely put. Honestly it is the best step towards spending your time in a much more appropriate fashion. Just make dua that I can attain the strength to do this as well."

Salaam:

Continuing on the theme of TV programs...

- Quality is always marginalized if the Quantity is increased without investing extra effort and resources in the mix...basically, you cant expect to have more TV programs produced than before while not putting additional resources in their development and screening....this is very simple and basic to understand.

- 2ndly, when there are a lot of channels out there competing with each other, to get viewer's attention...some may resort to bringing controversial topics and sensational items to grab your attention....for eg. back in early 90s when I came to USA, the main Networks did not have any programs (that I can remember) which had a warning (be it for Violence or mature content) before the program started....Moreover, all the EMMYs used to end up awarded to programs either from ABC, NBC or CBS...Cable programming were never a major contender...well things changed and then HBO started showing programs that was more catchy then the boring networks had and soon enough they started sweeping the EMMYS....Obviously, this prompted the networks to start catching up and incorporating (especially for after nine programs) contents that were more graphic and had adult themes for anyone to see....and all of this is because too many channels out there competing to get your’s and your family's attention and so anything goes...Unfortunately, conservative programming is a tombstone in todays' lingo (as far as media executives are concerned)...and this leaves us Muslims and conservatives in general, at odds about what is still good out there in this pile of decadence...

- Lastly, the other part of the dilemma is that we Muslims are currently in the stone-age when it comes to media development and dissemination...mostly because people shun away for this field as they are not sure if it is haraam or halaal to be involved in such activity or business...things have changed somewhat, especially for instance, Aljazeerah is now actually becoming global and have started broader programs for their viewers...I hope they continue this to bring meaningful and worthwhile programs for family and kids as well...perhaps in the future...but again we are way behind the curve ball on this.

So, if I open my TV, and I have all these delectable programming to spend my time on and I really do like doing this or enjoy every minute of this, then, unfortunately, I have become a supporter of this nuisance in our society....

Ma'Assalaama

The issue with television is not just with the content....but with the harmful affects of the medium itself.

Check out this article: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,11069-2176927,00.html

And this analysis:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,11069-2176928,00.html

And here is where you can leave some comments:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,564-2177746,00.html

Salaam:

First of all, if some braniac of a mother or father thinks that their presence can be replaced by TV for their infants and 2-3 yrs old...then I think they deserve the treatment that this child is going to verbally dish them out starting on his 4th birtday...and by the time this kid turns 13th, he may actually gun them down, hack them in pieces, and finally burn the house down altogether...and I wont be surprised with this outcome!

As far as I am concerned...TV is a medium that can be used for good - in moderation - for all ages.
on May 18, 2006 02:00 PM

I agree with sister Justoju... it's not the content.. its the way TV works on a developing child's brain.

my husband got me a CD set entitled "Educating Your Child in Modern Times" by of Sh. Hamza Yusuf and John Taylor Gatto. I highly recommend this for anyone starting a family or thinking about their child's path for education. There are 4 discs.. the first one is of Hamza Yusuf where he talks about classical vs Modern Education and he tells a story at one part about his children. His son used to ask him to tell him the same story at bedtime EVERY single night. Sh Hamza Yusuf wanted to change it a bit just to make it different (for himself as well) but his son would correct him saying "that's not how it was" and used to tell him how the story should be told. He went on to explain how children need to hear the same story over and over again in order to acquire language and acquire linear thought and how television interrupts this process as well as the development of imagination.

www.alhambraproductions.com

Sr Saima Iqbal, what was the earliest your son started speaking and remembering where you were able to help him begin to memorize Ayahs and Surahs of the Qur'an ? My daughter is 7 months now Alhamdolilah and I just want to get an idea :)

Salaam:

So there are really two different sister Saima, Masha'Allah, both are married, have kids, live in NJ, listen to Sheikh Hamza Yusuf and contribute on Hidayaonline...Great!

Ok, back to your post sister Saima-2...I completely and positively agree with your comment that story telling is extremely crucial for kids imagination and development...and I hope and pray that all muslim parents actually do that...

BUT, to negate TV as an effective Medium just because it does not allow for thoughts and learning development in child would be a misplaced conclusion (in my opinion).

Ok, if Content is not the main issue, but that the Medium is the issue...then we would have to assume that the CRT or the Plasama or LCED screen in front of you that you are currently using to read my comments also doesn't have any benefit...and regardless of the content (be they good or bad, halal or haraam) anything that your computer displays will limit yours, and your families ability to learn and be a more productive human being/citizen in your community....(obviously I am exaggerating here, but you get my point)

See, why I am harping on this is because sometimes we need to justify our thinking (or mindset) by localizing on the deficiencies of someone or somethings...yet we overlook the merits of the same person or object.

TV (and computers of today) are a relatively new invention in human history...these are not the only invention that has caused numerous distraction to the young-ones of earlier ages and nor will it be the case for later generations...

But what it is, essentially is a tool, that should be used in moderation for informative and development opportunities...insha'Allah.

Allahu Aaalim

Ma'Assalaama

Just read Manders book man. Then get back to us.

i live in NY.

the keyword you said was "tool". you can't expect a child to use a chainsaw as a tool at age 2, right ?

tools come with responsibility... and at appropriate ages for use as well. a CRT doesn't display continuous flowing images or sound (unless you're streaming video/audio).... it's the continuous flowing images and bright flashing lights (like in video games as well) that affect the developing brain. they have this big thing now with baby einstein and now the 24 hour channel created for children under 2 years old (see sr justoju's post above)... there are NO clinical studies that suggest that educational programming such as baby einstein improve cognitive development of children under 2. so.. basically.. it's all about getting your child attached to TV so that they could then watch regular TV when they are older... so they could see the commercials for toys and such.. and want them.. and chew your head (the parent's head) for the toy.. and then stay hooked as they grow older.. so that big companies can keep creating and holding onto and predicting their American Consumer in order to keep the economy intact and in check and in control. ITS ALL ABOUT CONTROL!

i agree with you that tv can be used in a good or bad way. but we shouldn't subject our kids at a young age to television when their brain is still developing. they should use it as a tool at an appropriate age after we have helped establish their foundation of Emaan and knowledge about their deen and encouraging them to enhance their ability for free thought.

Assalaamu Alaikum My dear Haadians:

******* J U M M A H --- M U B A R A K *******

May your days & weeks be brightened by the Glad tidings from Allah...and may you and your family and loved ones are among the population of Jannatul-Firdaus...Ameen

Hmmmm....hehehehehehe...when you have 3 married sisters (and 2 of them with kids) Masha'Allah, stating one point of view about family & kids, which is tangential to my opinion...then I guess I better shut-up.

I think, If I read Jerry's book, I will probably agree to most of what he has to say (just like I agreed with what you guys have stated earlier in your posts)...and so, there is no need for me to peruse his opinion.

Ergo, we will just have a consensus then...That TV, is BAD for the family!

Khalaas!

Ma'Assalaama

Salaam:

Please forward this to your friends and email groups.

As Salaamu 'Alaikum (Peace Be Upon You)

Dear Friends:

Hidaya Foundation (www.hidaya.org), a Santa Clara, CA based 501(c)(3) non-profit educational & charitable organization has been serving the poor and less fortunate since 1999 at economically depressed areas of the world. Among many, one feature project of Hidaya Foundation is the Marriage Support for orphan & poorest of the poor deserving Girls.

Most of the time many brilliant but unfortunate girls never get married because of their only crime, that they belong to less fortunate family and parents. At times, the parents are so much overwhelmed with dowry demands on them to the extent that they kill their children or commit suicide themselves. In addition to the issue left un-attended, corruption increases in the society. Since its inception Hidaya Foundation holds the hands of such families and provides them with basic necessities to get their daughters married. Almost 100+ girls are supported by Hidaya Foundation every year.

Few of the items given to bride include dresses, shoes, utensils, water jug set, sewing machine, and cash for other marriage expenses. The cost of a marriage varies depending upon rural to urban area from $100 to $300.

Click below to view photos of items that are given by Hidaya Foundation to poor and deserving families:
http://www.hidaya.org/images/socialwelfare/dowry_project_2006may/index.html

Would you put your hand on the head of one such girl and impact her life for ever? To donate online via electronic check or credit card towards this project please visit:

https://donation.hidaya.org/donation.aspx?projectId=7

Or you may mail your checks payable to Hidaya Foundation at:
Hidaya Foundation
P.O. Box 5481

Santa Clara, CA 95056

If you would like to donate automatically every month toward this project or any of our other projects please visit the following link:

Automatic Monthly Withdrawal Form (pdf file)

Should you need more information about Hidaya Foundation and its projects, kindly visit www.hidaya.org or contact us at the telephone numbers below.

Sincerely,

Waseem Baloch
Hidaya Foundation
Off: (866) 244-3292
Fax: (866) 344-3292
mail@hidaya.org


Hidaya Foundation (www.hidaya.org) is a US based non-profit 501 (C) (3) Charitable organization, with tax ID# 77-0502583. Its mission is to implement projects in economically depressed areas of the world. Hidaya works only in the areas where we have a team of high integrity and funds are used with maximum care and concern.

To remove or add yourself from or to the Hidaya list, DO NOT reply to this message, Instead, send an e-mail to member-request@hidaya.org with a blank subject and the word UNSUBSCRIBE or SUBSCRIBE by itself, in upper case, in the message body.

There you go single brothers, potential wives ripe for the picking.

(On a less levitous note: subhanAllah, think of the reward of marrying one of these women for the sake of Allah!)

I agree, as I indicated in my not-so-organized post earlier, the concept of an infant/toddler watching tv is not a great one, regardless of what they're watching. I was speaking to a doctor (and I've read a similar report by a child psychologist) regarding television/computer games. TV is basically giving your child information too fast for them to absorb and make sense out of, and is just filling up space in their minds. Their mind actually slows down (in my lingo) when they're not utilizing it. We all know the mind's a muscle, and it gets stronger as we use it. Also, from the age of 3 months to 3 years is when scientists say you can actually increase the IQ level of your child, or decrease it, depending on how you have 'em use it. I can go on and on on this topic, so I'll stop here. Suffice is to say that TV, no matter how educational the program, can have detrimental effects on the development of a child's brain.

Sister Saima Siddiqui, first of all, albeit belated, congratulations on the birth of your daughter! I hope shbge's a source of pleasure to her parents, and may Allah bless her deen and duniya.

My mother started reading the Kalima to my son when he was about 3 months or so. They can't speak clearly till after one usually, but they definitely can understand and even remember what you're saying at a much earlier age. He memorized La ilaha illallah when he was about 1.5 yrs old, and surah Kausar when he was about 2 yrs old.

A tip, the best times to help children commit something to memory may be when they wake up, and when they're going to sleep. With my son, the going to sleep worked better, however, but try the other one too if you can.

A friend of mine had her son listen to Surah Baqara on tape before going to bed, and he used to fall asleep listening (sort of like conditioning a mind) to it, and he's almost memorized the whole surah now (I believe he's 7 yrs old).

So I guess the earlier you start, the better. They may not even blink when you recite an Ayah to them, but it definitely registers.

Re: hidaya.org:

I could be wrong but shouldn't we NOT encourage/promote situations where dowry is being given/or helped and instead help these poor girls get married to people who don't demand dowries? Again, i could be wrong, but it seems like being a partner in crime if I'm helping them pay for more than the wedding the Islamic way, no? Keep in mind, if a guy and his family are too deeply culturalized to recognize where Islam ends and culture begins, he may not stop at just asking for dowry. What's stopping these guys from treating their wives unfairly based on the amount of dowry they bring?

Again, all this may be in vain if I'm not understanding the idea behind this particular project, and if so, forgive the misunderstanding.

"Few of the items given to bride include dresses, shoes, utensils, water jug set, sewing machine, and cash for other marriage expenses. The cost of a marriage varies depending upon rural to urban area from $100 to $300"

It seems though that the 'dowry' is mostly composed of personal use items. The sewing machine I can see as a tool for future income. Also we need to keep in mind that these girls are often from a dirt-poor, culturally-saturated, and illiterate background and their marriage choices are already limited by that. Most single men (who are educated enough to understand the difference between culture and Islam) might not be too interested in marrying a woman who is from such a different background...and even if they are, their families might not be too keen on the idea...

Though it WOULD be awesome if people could put all that aside and do something good for the sake of Allah...

Salaam:

What Hidaya.org is aiming to do is to provide a solution to an expectation which is part of the acceptable norm or social fabric of the Indo-Pak culture.

Ideally, there shouldn't be this expectation that a bride MUST bring a Dowry with her (which is a hindu custom to begin with) but that is not something Hidaya.org (or anyone else for that matter can change, except perhaps the President of the country)...

Subhan'Allah...there is just so much oppression in this world...and no one bears the brunt of all this more than woman (in almost all societies and cultures of today)...

If I had all the freedom to marry whoever I could...then I would have chosen the weakest and the poorest of these ladies...but that is not possible due to family reasons....but alteast I can keep this neeyah...Insha'Allah.

Ma'Assalaama

Well, don't just keep the neeyah, you can implement it by not having these expectations of your children. We all say we can and would have done certain things (and Br. Asef I don't mean you at all, I include myself firt and foremost inthis list), but the time will come when our words will be tested, sometiems via our children. Hopefully we can succeed in creating a society free of such cultural binds, closer to that of the time of the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him).

Salaam:

Ameen to that Sister Saima Iqbal...

Insha'Allah...I have firm believe that in the coming years & decades, the subsequent generations will be better than the former ones and Islaam will shine thru them...the world over...Ameen

Hey folks....why do we have our daughters/sisters/wives getting all educated (MD, MBBS, Masters, Law makers and MBAs) and then expect them not to work and just be house wives and take care of our kids....

Well, if that is what they are expected to do, being a mom and housewife, then shouldn't they educate themselves in Islamic and Arabic education, especially in the West?

Ma'Assalaama

mabrook.

you have now entered another level from the Ghurabaah.

may Allah put barakah in all that spare time that you'll have.
aameen.

AlHamdulillah, I haven't watched TV for 7 weeks now :)

Masha Allah ... Congratulations.

Assalamualaikum warahamathullahi wabarakatuhu Brothers and sisters,

I am very happy to find this website. I have read the posts and masha allah I am very happy about the islamic spirit of our youth ( I am also a youth of 28 years) Masha allah.
Coming to the post, I feel very strongly that TVs should be removed from each and every home (there is so much unislamic contents, and non mahram women on TV channels).
May Allah help us in every virtuious pursuits and grant success.
Insha allah may Allah keep us all the muslims safe from fitnahs of shaitan and fitnahs of internet too.
Assalamualaikum

*********JUMAH - MUBARAK ********************

Assalaamu Alaikum:

Jummah Mubarak to you too!!!

Alhamdulillah, someone else has taken the initiative of saluting Jummah Mubarak to everyone here on hidayaonline....Great!
I hope this trend continues, insha'Allah.

"...(there is so much unislamic contents, and non mahram women on TV channels)."

Like wise, there are also many non-mahram men on TV that can be fitnah for our sisters.

You know folks, there is somethings that we seem to overlook sometimes; a bad company of friends can do worse for you or your kids even if you think otherwise..and we dont necessarily equate it to the same level as a TV.

Think about how many vices we have committed, or thought of doing, based on peer pressure or encouragement from certain "friends"...TVs are bad..real bad...but Bad company can be Fatal!

Just my $0.03

And May you all Lavish in the Mercy of ALLAH, and may HE shower HIS Blessings upon all of you during your days and nights...Ameen

Ma'Assalaama

"You know folks, there is somethings that we seem to overlook sometimes"

What makes you think that parents that are as concerned about the bad influences of one source wouldn't be concerned about the bad influences of another?

I would think its more likely that a parent who is careless with their child's "television company" to overlook and be careless with their child's (and their own) real life company.

Concerned parents tend to be concerned about all aspects of their child's life and nurturing. Both (TV and Innappropriate company) are bad, and both should be approached with caution.

Salaam:

Yes, agreed...but I was trying to elucidate that a parent can control things going on at home (like restricting or removing TV), but cannot control variables when the kid is not infront of them and busy in school or mingling with others...

We all went through a growing phase, and we can all relate how our peers have affected our lives...one way or another...implicitly or explicitly...

See, I am no parent, and so I cannot discuss something about parenting that I dont know...I leave that to the experts (meaning moms & dads)...but what I do know is that parents can only do so much...and so it takes a community to raise a child...and not just parents!

I dont want to give examples from everyday America, but there are parents who anyone would consider extra vigilant about their kids, but the kids still end up doing stuff that is inappropriate...(maybe a discussion for some other time).

Ma'Assalaama

Br. Asef, I remember saying that at my son's pre-school interview "it takes a community to raise a child". Needless to say, I agree whole-heartedly. However ... don't think a parent can only do so much. If a parent provides the right community, is pro-active, and vigilant, and instills Allah's fear in a child from the beginning, then no matter where teh child (or if he/she has become an adolescent/adult) is, chances are he/she will continue to stick to the right track, Insha Allah.

Unfrotunately in my days at RU, I came across a few who came from very very very strict families, yet they indulged in haraam when teh parents weren't looking. I'm talking about adults here now (from the ages of 18 to 25). And then there were ppl who knew no one here, no one to report back to mom and dad about what they were doing, yet kept their gazes lowered and Imaan manifested through their actions (Allah knows what was in their hearts, I only speak of what I've seen). So ... my point here is, you and I can instill our fears in our children's hearts, but if that's all we do, then yeah when we're not looking, they may very well indulge in Haraam. In that case, yes, parents can only do so much. BUT, if we instill Allah's fear in them, pray that they never deviate from the path, and do all we can to ensure that, then Insha Allah, they won't deviate from the path even when the parents aren't looking. In that case, parents did do all that mattered. I realize Allah guides those He chooses to, and misguides those He chooses to. I hope the next generation of muslims is in the former category, but I do believe we, as parents, will play an integral part in it, and so lets not say, or even think, we can only do so much.

I'm sorry if that sounded obnoxious or if I offended you -- truly not my intent. I've just, unfortunately, seen so many kids going towards haraam, and parents wondering what tehy did wrong, and ultimately saying we can only do so much. Bottom line -- control your child at an early age, once they respect/revere/fear you -- make them fear Allah. If they won't listen to you when they're kids, they won't listen to you when you teach 'em about Allah. Ofcourse, you have to fear Allah too -- kids do what we do, not what we tell them to do.

Wa'alaikum asalaam, and again, I apologize if I offended anyone.

Salaam:

Sister Saima Iqbal, Masha'Allah...may Allah always bless you and your family, and may you be the mother of future Islamic Leaders in this country...Ameen

Nope you did not offend me...because whatever you said is correct...and I concur...Alhamdulillah.

Hmmm...another controversial, but somewhat related topic...what happens, if my child (son/daughter) comes and announces to the family that s/he is attracted to the same s-e-x...that would be an UGLY scenario...Subhan'Allah!

What would one muslim parent do?
This is just an open-ended question, not intended towards anyone...and I dont expect people to respond to it either....maybe thats why a lot of families prefer going back to their homeland when their kid start showing signs of unacceptable behaviors...Allahu Aalim.

Ma'Assalaama

What would you do if your child came and told you he'd rather not be muslim? That she went to a party last night and got drunk, and that wasn't the first time? That they were promiscuous (sp?)?

You know how these days (I say 'these days, coz I've beeen in the US for 15 yrs now, and I started noticing these days a few years ago) they show ads about parents being the anti-drug? Well, it's true. We're the anti-drug, anti-alcohol, anti-homos-e-xuals, anti-(anything we're against). Really.

I went to get my hair trimmed the other day, and the lady cutting my hair (she was a 23 yr old italian), was teling me how she was not allowed to go to parties, or have sleepovers till she was in her senior year in high school. Now -- that's an example. She has NEVER had alcohol, she doesn't smoke, hasn't done drugs, and has gone out with two boys, ever. The 2nd one was her fiance. If non-muslims can do it, living in the US, it ought to be easier for us, coz we have Allah on our side. Be proactive -- pray this doesn't happen, be with your children as much as possible (read the book 'the Natural child' http://www.alhambraproductions.com/shopping/product_details.php?id=119&product_id=216), keep an eye on who they hang with, what they learn, etc. Your child has a higher chance of drinking, doing drugs, and getting involved in a physical relationship with the opposite gender than they do of telling you they're attracted to teh same gender. So whatever you're doing to prevent the former, you need to do to prevent the latter. Remember, we live in a country where these things aren't only common, but are attractive to those who can't easily ward off the whispers of shaitan. You need to be their support system, along with their watcher (while they're young, of course), and you need to make sure their community comprises of those who share the same beliefs you do, then you're minimizing the chances of your child doing something against your beliefs.

PS -- I'd like to say I'm speaking mostly on theory here -- my child's only 4 (today, an hour ago actually, come to think of it), so I haven't experienced most of these scenarios, Alhumdulillah, and Insha Allah never will. But I know it's all easy in theory, and practice is harder.

In my previous post it may seem like I'm praising the fact that my hair cutter went out with 2 guys .. I'm not. My point was, that being christian, and not so adverse to going out at all, if this girls parents could prevent her from sleeping over her friends house till she was 18 to protect her from thinking she could do things like going out at an early age, then we (muslims) can do it to. Again, don't anybody go around saying that I said it's okay to go out with 2 guys, plz. IMHO it's not okay to deal with the opposite gender at all unless necessary, and even then, there are islamic guidelines to abide by.

Salaam sister:

Masha'Allah your son is 4...may Allah bless him for the rest of his life and may he be among those who are the successful ones in this life and in the hereafter...Ameen

Hey y'all single people...get married...get pregnant...and get your life going, Insha'Allah...we all need to enjoy/suffer the beauty and challeneges of parenthood...this advice is foremost aimed at myself and my future wife (who is out there, somewhere)...:-))

Ma'Assalaama

Quote:"Hey y'all single people...get married...get pregnant...and get your life going, Insha'Allah..."

I think it'll be slightly difficult for the bro's to get pregnant..best to leave all that to the sis's, inshaAllaah..

Salaam:

Please make Dua for the Maghfirah for all those brothers & sisters who passed away in the Indonesian earthquake...and may Allah give sabar and quick relief to the survivors....Ameen

Inna-lil-la-hi-wa-inna-ilay-hi-ra-jai-oun

Ma'Assalaama

The Ill Effects of Television
By Shaykh Abu Mohammed Abdur-Rauf Shakir (hafidhahullah)

http://www.sunnahonline.com/library/contemporary/0001.htm

or hard copy

http://www.al-basheer.com/cgi-bin/category.cgi?item=16016

**************J U M A H - M U B A R A K***********

Allahumma 'Alaika bi Amriika wa biritaania,
Allahumma sallit 'alayhim ri ha 'aad
wa saihata thamuud
wa toofani qawmi nuh