Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

This is an effort to get Hidaya out of its lull.

So POST!!!, Insha Allah.

He probably would not drive a gas-guzzling monster SUV either

He probably would not consider animals raised cruelly on factory 'farm' prisons on an unnatural diet 'halal food'

He probably would not leave his computer on for days at a time (think: more electricity used, more dirty coal burned, more pollutant, more acid rain ...)

He probably would not waste hours sitting at the computer anyway

He most certainly would not watch WWE 'wrestling' (or consider it a sport)

now someone should put up something more positive about what he WOULD do ...

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu

"He probably would not consider animals raised cruelly on factory 'farm' prisons on an unnatural diet 'halal food'"

I should change it to:

The Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) would probably buy Kosher Organic meat from Whole Foods.

wa'alaikum salaam wa rahmatullah wabarakatuhu

umm... i'm not too good at picking up the intended message in online posts ... so was that statement meant to be taken literally or sarcastically?

if the latter be true, to clarify any potential misuse of quotes on my part ... I was just reflecting on some unfortunate practices adopted by me and my acquaintances.

You have rights to your parents (and they over you). You should have an understanding with your spouse on the subject and if she does later on in life change her mind, try to make her understand and that she wouldn't want her children to separate themselves from her when she comes to that age.

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

Asef, I am very sorry. It was I who deleted your comment, and completely by accident (I was trying to delete spam). PLease post up your question again.

N, I'm also sorry, I meant to say I should change my original saying of how "5) The Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) would eat Halal food." I did not mean about changing your comment. In fact, I agreed with what you were saying about the mistreatment and the unhalal way of feeding the animals.

For those that do not know, cows raised in modern america (unless they are organic) are fed ground corn. Since there stomachs were meant to eat grass and not corn, the food begins to damage the lining of their stomachs which begins to cause illness. Since the cows are crammed into such overpopulated pens, dieases can be very harmful, and so they are pumped with tons of antibiotics whether or not they are sick.

Since many of them do get sick and die anyway, many farms (I don't think they've banned this in the US yet) grind up the dead animals and put it with the feed. Therefore, the animals are essentially eating bits of dead cow along with their food (making them not only carnivores but cannibals). This is what causes mad cow disease.

He (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) would probably call to tawheed first, no matter how many people think he's a terrorist.

Salaam:

I really need some varying opinions on this:

1- If I were to seek a muslim spouse in US, and if my biggest criterion for my future wife is that she is willing to accept my parents in our house (for good), then do I have a chance here, or I should rather look back in Pakistan???

I am asking this as a perception question...I know the answer will depend on person to person...but I am curious (in general) that should I not even waste time looking for a spouse here in US and just get married back home (based on the above criterion).

Cause, its one thing to agree before marriage and then to change the opinion 2-3 years down the road, and at that time I dont want to choose between my parents and my wife/kids.

Obviously, I will give the due rights to my future wife, and be loving and supportive, but I cant choose my wife over my parents (if it comes to that)!

Ma'Assalaama

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

I think it might depend in how much your parents let you lead your life with your wife. If your parents don't really interfere in your personal life with your wife, I'm sure she wouldnt mind. But if they are the kind that will butt into every argument with your wife and always say "not my little boy..." or "she stole my son" or something of that caliber (like always taking your side) then she will probably get fed up.

Perhaps you should talk to her (and your parents) about it. Again speakign out of absolutely no experience, but I'm pretty sure the dad will be completely unintrusive and will just go about gardening in the back while you shoudl probably make sure you know how your mother is going to treat her.

Of course I am saying this having absolutely no experience with pakistani-culture on in-house weddings so I could be very wrong.

Salaam:

Br. Rami, your comments are worthwhile (even though you are not experienced in these matters).

Well, this time around I want to put my parents comfort and pleasure before mine...Obviously, the ideal scenario would be that my future wife and my mom can get along as mother & daughter! However, considering the possibilities this could be wishful thinking, especially if I am to consider my future wife from US.

And Believe me...if my future wife and my mom do hit it well together, then my wife will be the most beloved person to me, after Allah and RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam)...Insha'Allah

Ma'Assalaama

I don't think it's a good idea to have such an article because it is not proper adaab to say what Rasulullah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam would or would not do in modern times--especially if we are not fully engulfed knowledge-wise in his sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam seerah and sunnah. Wallahu 'alam.

Salaam:

OK...as I alluded earlier...RasulAllah (sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam) would have done nothing but live his life according to Quraan regardless of what age/time he would have come. His life today would not be any different than the Sunnah that he lived 1400 years ago.

A standing example for this is the 2nd coming of Eesa (Jesus) Alai-hes-salaam, some time in the future, and he would live his life according to the Quraan and Sunnah of RasulAllah )sal-lal-la-hu-wa-sal-lam).

So breaking it down like would he have a checking account vs Savings, or Computer vs TV, or would he consume organic or non-organic vegetables...is kind of weak premise to begin with...

Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,

Sister, I actually thought (and worried) about that. That's why I stayed away from any controversial fiqh issues and stuck to things taht are obvious, and had the delete button ready for anything like that which came up. (Not you br. asef)

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Br. Asef, from a sister's prespective, I think Br. Rami gave a very good answer. I think there are a lot.. okay maybe not a lot but there are enough sisters raised in the US that come from families with similar values to yours and so would be willing to live with your parents. But just as Br. Rami said, as long as your parents aren't the type that will intrude into everything, because I'm sure your wife would have some expectations from you as a husband and would like to make a few of those hubby/wifey desicions together. And anyway, just so you know, not all girls in Pakistan these days are willing to live with their in-laws. So i guess it can be here or there... hope that helps, Allah Alam.

As for WWPMPBUHD?.. its more like something the Prophet (saw) really did and I think many of us need to do more... SMILE. Remember guys, the way we represent ourselves is dawah and just for the sake of Allah (swt) and to please your brothers ( brothers to please brothers) and sisters (sisters to please sisters) in Islam.. Smile.

Salamualaikum

MashAllah Rami,very good article indeed.

May Allah Guide us to the Right path, till our death.

The Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would give me sound advice whenever I need it

The Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would stand out for justice

Assalamu alaikum,

Subhanallah i'm of very little knowledge, but subhanAllah I have to agree with sister Gigi... Your intention mashaAllah is sincere, however perhaps it shouldn't be said, since none of us have the proper authority to say what he would or wouldnt have done. WAllahu alem...

just my 2 cents
I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my post. it wasnt intended. May Allah forgive us all.

Br. Asef:

I've known sisters who lived with their in-laws and hated it, and those who lived with their in-laws and loved it. As my bro said, it depends on how the parents interact with the kids but also how they get along. If your mom hates your wife (for some reason, some women find this to be mandatory, that they MUST hate their daughter-in-laws and make their life miserable), then obviously there will be conflict.

However, it also boils down to a fact of growing up and that it's hard to when you're still living under your parents' roof, especially for the guy. You don't get the same sense of responsibility and independence that you would if you were on your own and that can lead to problems.

And, as I told Rami, it's (nearly?) impossible for a man to make both his wife and his mother happy at the same time (both being 2 very important women in his life and him being very important to each of them).

Salaam:

I agree "mostly" with your assessment sister Amani.

However, I think the lion's share of responsibility lies with the groom/son of these two ladies. If he knows how to keep his mom satisfied while increasing his love for his wife (everyday of their married life) than he is a smart man...unfortuantely, most men are wimp when it comes to this...they just fail miserably and really dont know how to balance this delicate tri-factor relationship, between their wives & moms.

Consider this for a thought...if you were to draw an isosceles traingle and place the son, the mother and the wife at each corner, then they will all be equally apart from each other as the traingle has same side length and same angles. This is an ideal case.

But in reality, this relationship traingle is never like the above scenario; a man has to either give preference or love his wife or mom more, over the other...

So, the best way to define this complex relationship is by utilizing the "Right-Angle traingle" scenario. The right-angle triangle is probably the best way to balance this relationship as far as the husband/son is concerned.

What do I mean by that...well, before I answer, I would like everyone (brothers & sisters) to look up Isosceles and Right angle traingle...and deduct their own reasoning from it, insha'Allah.

By the way, I was meaning to say this as it is exams and finals week:

May Allah bless all the brothers and sisters who are doing their finals, and may Allah bring the Best of results for them and may Allah pave their ways to further learning and growth as muslims and responsible citizens...Ameen

Ma'Assalaama

Salaam:

"So, the best way to define this complex relationship is by utilizing the "Right-Angle traingle" scenario. The right-angle triangle is probably the best way to balance this relationship as far as the husband/son is concerned.

What do I mean by that...well, before I answer, I would like everyone (brothers & sisters) to look up Isosceles and Right angle traingle...and deduct their own reasoning from it, insha'Allah."

So, any thoughts or ideas about how to define relationships between mother/wife using triangles?

The answer will be made available on Friday, insha'Allah...but I really want y'all to consider the above and come up with your impression on this, (especially the brothers).

Ma'Assalaama