by Rami Mahmoud Elsawah
Today is Talal’s big day. It is perhaps the best day of his life…the day he would marry his one true love and complete half his deen. Unfortunately for him he was a procrastinator, and so today he would spend his entire day getting that one most important thing: The Diamond Ring (the ONE ring…to rule them ALL). After all, what kind of Muslim would he be if his wife was the only wife without a large transparent rock to weigh down her hand?
So, off he went to the Jewelers…
AT THE JEWELERS:
Mohammed Irfan: Asalaaam Aleikum, welcome to Hidaya’s Jewelers. How can I help you?
Talal: Waleikum Asalaam. Well, I need a nice diamond ring for my wife…we’re getting married today you know.
Mohammed Irfan: Masha Allah. So, then let me tell you about this diamond ring. It’s called a ‘cultured diamond’, a nearly flawless rock. They are in every aspect a real diamond but at only a fraction of the cost.
Talal: You mean a cubic zirconium?
Mohammed Irfan: Man, watchu talkin’ about cubic zirconium? Naw, man, these are REAL diamonds. You put pure carbon under enough heat and pressure – like 2,200 degrees Fahrenheit and 50,000 atmospheres – and it will crystallize into the hardest material known, pure diamonds. There’s barely a jeweler in the world who’d be able to tell the difference…because in fact it’s a REAL diamond..
Talal: Hmm, I’m not sure. I mean they always say on those DeBeers commercials that buying a diamond from the Earth means that I’m “Buying a piece of forever.”
Mohammed Irfan: Man, that’s just a marketing ploy.
Talal: What are you trying to say…that my wife isn’t worth the 75,000 lives and half a million refugees in Sierra Leone torn by almost ten years of civil war funded by the diamond trade? Defense ki larki heh!
Mohammed Irfan: Naw…naw man. I was just saying that the DeBeers corporation came out with that line because when they became afraid that people would start buying cultured diamonds. These things aren’t good for a monopoly you know. After all, how is the consumeer suppose to get an affordable ring if DeBeers can’t use smuggled diamonds from bloodthirsty warlords who chop off the arms and legs of Muslim children and rape Muslim women? I mean, what would happen then? People wouldn’t get married. People wouldn’t be able to complete half their Deen!
Talal: Diamonds are forever.
Mohammed Irfan: Whatever you say bro. Anyway, if you’re really looking for affordable prices…you can always buy your ring from Wal-Mart. And don’t worry…DeBeers controls 80% of the market, so anywhere you go you’ll be sure to buy diamonds from them. Alhamdullilah for the corporate apparatus.
Talal: Ameen, Ameen Ameen. Now better get off to Wal-Mart. Salaams.
THE GAS STATION
Talal is driving his SUV on the way to the Wal-Mart and notices that he’s running low on gas. He heads over to the local ExxonMobil…
Rami: Asalaam Aleeiiiiikum Warahmatullaaaaaah Wabarakatu! What’s up man?! Back again so soon?
Talal: Waaleikum Asalaam. You know how it is…
Rami: Yep. So, the usual?
Talal: Yeah, fill it up…Super-ultra. Looks like I got 6 miles to the gallon this time, a new record. Hey, did you know that today is the big day?
Rami: Congratulations, Masha Allah. So, did you rent a limo or anything?
Talal: LIMO?!? Man, not just any limo; I got the new super-deluxe, ultra gas-guzzling 6.5 liter Diesel H2 mega-stretch limousine. Take that Kyoto Protocols!
Rami: Subhan Allah for all the great things of this world! Anyways, you’re done….that’s $85.25. I’ll just put it on your account.
Talal: Masha Allah, $85.25! Gas prices have gone down, huh?
Rami: Yeah, they finally got that new oil pumpin’ out of Iraq. It’s about time too…ExxonMobil hasn’t spent a dime on renewable energy research. We would’ve really suffered bad.
Talal: Hey, have you heard anything about “Biodiesel”? I heard some people talkin’ about that lately.
Rami: Yeah, some new fuel that is made from old cooking oils and what not. Supposed to be really cheap and ‘clean’…whatever that means. Just a bunch of propaganda…pay no attention to it. ExxonMobil makes the freshest smelling greenhouse gases on Earth… mother nature is beggin’ for it.
Amani: One gallon, two gallons, three gallons four!
A hybrid car will save you more!
Rami: Darn hippie….get out of here! I swear, they’re like ants.
Talal: Hippies…sheesh.
Amani: Hummers, SUV’s and 4 by 4’s!
Polluting the environment displeases your Lord!
Rami: Ants I tell you…ants! Anyway Talal, you’re all set. See you soon, no doubt.
Talal: No doubt….Salaams.
WAL-MART
Talal gets lost in the vastness of the super-store. He sees an employee stocking shelves at the end of the aisle and goes to ask for directions.
Talal: Excuse me ma’am, can you tell me where the jewelry section is?
Justoju: Yuss surr, umm…ehhh….I no speak …em….vhat?
Talal: I’m sorry…the jewelry section.
Justoju: Oh…I…uhhh…just come from country day before today to vork at Val-Mart. They pay good….two dollars for hour…no tax. They tell me I keep price down for consumer.
Talal: Right…yeah…so…ummm....the jewelry section? You know…diamond, gold.
Justoju: Oh yes surr….shiny tings. It over there by shoos.
Talal: Thank you ma’am.
Justoju:Yes surr, no problem.
TALAL PASSES BY THE SHOE SECTION:
While looking at the vast selection of shoes Talal says to himself, “You know, these kicks are getting old. I can’t let my wife see me like this. Better get some of those new Nikes on sale.”
Talal: Excuse me sir, how much are these?
Hassan: Oh these…man are you in luck. Last month they were almost $150. Some freak accident in one of the sweatshops back in Vietnam halted production for almost a week. Some kid was doing a regular 80 hour workweek and fell asleep at the machine. By the time they got the kid’s hand out the fabric had already been tainted and the Air Jordan signs turned a bluish color. I think those are selling for $500 something on ebay. But Alhamdullilah these things happen all the time and so they were able to bring in new fabric right away. Anyway, now they can be yours for only $55.
Talal: SubhanAllah! I’ll take two.
THE CASH REGISTER:
Talal finally makes it to the Jewelry section and buys his ring; made fresh from the war torn country of Congo. Two Harry Potter DVD’s and a teddy bear for his wife later, he finally decides it’s about time he went home.
Nadia: Hello sir, how are you? Oh my, look at this teddy bear…I used to sell one just like this in my shop just not so long ago.
Talal: Your shop?
Nadia: Yes. Most of us working here used to own our own small businesses. But when Wal-Mart came into town none of us could compete and we and eventually had to close down. I used to own a flower and gift shop, we used to have hand made teddy bears which you could customize yourself. Now, well…I’m here woking as a cashier with all the other small business owners. Isn’t that right Hamayun?
Hamayun (at cash register 3): Yup, I used to own a hardware store.
Talal: Heh, sux to be you.
Bint Abdul Khaliq (at register 5): Actually, sucks to be you too. Most of us employees here get such poor wages and benefits that we live off of welfare and food stamps. That means that your city’s taxes go up and the money comes out of your pocket. There’s your big savings!
Nadia: Not to mention the fact that Wal-Mart forces domestic suppliers to meet cheap foreign labor prices, putting America further and further in an economic depression and pushing more jobs abroad.
Faisal (at register 2): AND they’re anti-union!
Justoju: And dey drop de prices for consumers by vorking illegals!
Talal: I can’t believe this, Astaghfirullah!
Nadia:Yes, I know.
Talal: No, I forgot to buy stamps. Oh no wait, here we go….Ok sorry.
Talal pays for the items and walks out the door proud of all the money he had saved today. A tear dripped down his cheeks because he couldn’t believe how much blessings Allah was giving him. He thought to himself “I should do something for Allah”. Talal vowed to hook up his Masjid with the biggest entertainment system he could find. DVD, HDTV, Dolby Surround Sound, Satellite dish…the works. The Sheikhs around on the block will be beggin’ Imam Raouf to come over and watch the Desi movies and their favorite Arabic soap operas.
Aoodhubillah! He thought.
He forgot to buy the new Aishwarya Rai movie.
i think this is by far the most intresting marriage article on hidaya lol....
on December 18, 2004 2:01 AMhahahaha, I lowe it, the bestestest marriage article yet.
Where did you get the urdu line from?
Sneakers on his wedding day? Classy.
I personally think that Justoju and the ground-moving drama of her exploited immigrant life was what the story was really about.
I spent the day writing a 20 pg. paper on privatization vs. public goods. Your article fits in perfectly with my current mood of "I hate those oppressors. Viva la resistance!"
And wow, fictitous Br. Talal sure does watch a whole lot of movies.
And please tell me you all wouldnt really spend 55 bucks on a brand name, would you? And if you did, you all would wear those sneakers for at least 5 years to get your money's worth, right?
Make the shoe grow with your foot. For $55 it better be able to.
on December 18, 2004 2:31 AMI know where he got that line from :)
It's too early for me to contain my laughter :)
on December 18, 2004 8:06 AMamani you rock :)
on December 18, 2004 8:06 AMhahahahaha needed a good laugh, thanx!
on December 18, 2004 8:07 AMSalaam Brother Rami:
This is one amusing article with deeper connotations. Quiet well done, Sir.
The part that I am really interested to reply back is about the diamond selection for your palusible spouse.
First of all, when I and my ex were getting engaged, we had myself my father, my ex, her father and her Cousin go to this Diamond shop (owned by an Indian) to select that special ring.
So, it is not so bad an idea if your future spouse is (somehow) involved in the ring selection process. Obviously, its your spouse-to be who will wear it most of the time.
Perhaps, she can do her research on the internet for the specific cut, size, shape, and clarity and let the groom-to be know in advance. This will help him to procure the right stone for the occasion.
Now in regards to Manufactured Diamonds, I have read that they are very similar to real diamond, the only thing they lack, however, is the inclusions which are defects (or impurities) present in a diamond excavated from the earth. Usually, inclusions are not good for the clarity or sparkle of a diamond, but thats the only thing missing in a Manufactured diamond.
Ergo, if the manufactured diamond has brillaind clarity, cut and color then that would be one beautiful stone....at a cheaper price. This is probably the right way to go, but it all depends on your fiance, if she is willing to take a Manufactured diamond vs a natural Diamond.
Either one of the stone, however, will last longer than both the bride and the groom...anyways!
on a more serious note i take note of the serious siisues mentioned in the article. Justice for all
on December 18, 2004 8:27 AMAs Salaamu alaikum
lol
Interesting.Nothing like a bit of humour to get your message across..
Was Salaam
on December 18, 2004 10:34 AMSalaam
great article Rami! Mashallah, creative and unique. My first job was at Kmart, so thats close enough! hahaha
on December 18, 2004 1:01 PMAsalaam Walaikum,
Masha allah, excellent article.
I think we should all be taking the dirtiness of the diamond trade very seriously. The massacres in Sierra Leone are only possible because of funding by the retail diamond industry. As responsible consumers, if we are going to buy diamonds we must INSIST that they are not 'conflict diamonds' or 'blood diamonds.' Now groups like Amnesty International have created standards whereby you can make sure the diamond you buy isn't coming from Sierra Leone. So anyone in the market for an engagement ring, for the sake of all these poor kids in Sierra Leone, please demand from the jeweler some proof that it's not a blood diamond. Asalaam.
on December 18, 2004 1:28 PMVery nice article.
Alf Mabrook to Br. Talal!
Barakullaahu fi wa baraka alayki wa jamaa'a baynakuma fi khair.
on December 18, 2004 2:12 PMpeople, its just a rock. Furthermore, you dont HAVE TO have it for the nikkah to be valid. Hopefully, none of you will marry spouses that think that a diamond ring is a big deal. And if the families are going to make a big deal out of it, speak with your fiance in advance and decide to secretly buy a manufactured diamond. No one can tell anyway.
on December 18, 2004 2:30 PMFYI
I got the bling bling from head to toe
I dont just deal diamonds, i got gucci, moschino, DB and coach purses, i got the hook up on prada and i got that new trimmer from Norelco for the brohers who follow the sunnah. and for the sista's i got the new MAC and Vikcy's secret makeup .....u know how i do
lol
I love you rami, you always amaze me with your writing, whether prose or poetry
hugs
salaams
"And please tell me you all wouldnt really spend 55 bucks on a brand name, would you?"
no, i'd spend 155 bux.
on December 18, 2004 4:07 PMI have a question to the Hidayaonline admin...Have you guys ever considered having a chatroom-it could be invitation only, or open to public. Not really sure if that would work for this site.
on December 18, 2004 4:09 PMNO ASIF. This is bad enough as it is. NO CHATROOM.
on December 18, 2004 4:12 PMhahahahaaha....OK Justoju!
If you say so.
asif i dont think the idea of dragging the wife along to pick out the ring is a good idea, wheres the romance in that?? girls like it when guys spend countless hours thinking bout what the girl would like n what she wouldn't. Im not saying go alone if u dont know anything bout rings, but dont take the bride!!!
on December 18, 2004 4:18 PMI personally like the glamor and razzle-dazzle of ring pops. Grape flavored is good. Cherry is ok too.
on December 18, 2004 4:22 PMSalaam Munazza:
Yes, the romance part is crucial isn't it.
In my case, however, we went out to get the stone as we had to do the ceremony that very evening. And I havent bought a stone before so the elders decided that we all go together.
But, in hindsight, I would do things differently the next time around, Insha'Allah...and it will be more romantic...yes, that bit is true.
on December 18, 2004 4:24 PMActually, I think you guys have it rough in the ring buying department. On the one hand, yeah a girl would like it if you picked it out yourself and all but if it's not to her liking then you get in trouble for picking out something she doesn't like. BUT, it all depends on the girl and how picky/annoying she is about it. :)
And to Sr. Saima: No, it is you who rocks, m'dear. :)
on December 18, 2004 4:30 PMyeah, I am sure Ali (RA) went nuts trying to find the right ring for the daughter of the mercy to mankind. If she didnt deserve the 'best' then who does?
on December 18, 2004 4:34 PMand btw, you BOTH rock. Now someone say it to me.
on December 18, 2004 4:34 PMSr. Justoju: You rock as well! :D
on December 18, 2004 4:37 PMSister Justoju:
U just dont rock...but roll as well...hahahaha...Sorry, I couldn't let that one pass...you left it too wide open for anyone not to take advantage of that!
on December 18, 2004 4:39 PMSr. Justoju, I agree with you there. Ali had to sell something of his to marry her and women make a big deal out of how big the size of their diamond is. To me, I'd rather my husband save that money to get something more meaningful than to buy a ring I'd probably forget to wear anyway (or lose, for that matter).
on December 18, 2004 4:42 PM(valley girl voice)
Ohhh myyy God Amani, thats so sweeeet of you! You didnt have to say that! NO, no, YOU rock! You and Saima rock! Totally. (giggle giggle)
I would most DEFINITELY lose it. I have a habit of going to sleep and then taking jewelry off (while I sleep) and hiding it. I think I unconsciously really have a thing against jewelry. Either that of there are jinn running around going to snazzy parties bejeweled in my stuff.
on December 18, 2004 4:47 PMAnyone with a half brain should be able to keep track of their ring even if they wear it most of the time or not. Its no different then your watch, if you do wear one. Pretty straight and simple really.
on December 18, 2004 4:51 PMlol....wow...girls dont tell the boys that u dont want rings, umh umh sum of us still want ssum bling bling...lol
on December 18, 2004 5:03 PMSo Amani, if you put the two of us together you'd get a whole brain. Thats not bad.
All this fuss about Br. Talal's big day, and he isnt even around to comment about it. What a shame.
on December 18, 2004 5:04 PMHeh, that's funny 'cause my brother was just telling me about how he always loses his watches.
on December 18, 2004 5:08 PMIts the jinn Amani, its the jinn.
Sr. Munazza, dont worry, there are enough of them out there who want their woman dripping with ice :)
on December 18, 2004 5:16 PM'tis the jinn. i agree too.
the "Blingy Jinni"
Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,
Apparently I also found out after the Hidaya crash that life does exist outside this world.
I love you all (except the spammer).
AnonymousBrother: MashaAllah bro, you are absolutey correct. The DeBeers corp is responsible for the deaths of thousands if not millions of lives in Sierra Leone, not to mention Dem. Rep. of Congo and other places. For those of you that didn;t know, Sierra Leone is a Muslim country (%60 Muslim). I dare say that one should completely boycott the DeBeers corporation, or any company that funds that kind of massacre. DeBeers even gets around Amnesty Internationals checks because as of yet they are not required to label 'Country of Origin', just the last country it was shipped from. And as Sr. Justoju said, there is no requirement for anyone to buy a diamond ring. In fact, wouldn't it be a bit hypocritical/unwise to be starting out your marriage buy purchasing a diamond tainted with Muslim blood.
Sr. Justoju: The last pair of sneakers I bought were $30..and they are blessed no-names, although they were made in China. They have lasted me longer than any brand name sneakers I've ever had.
Sr. Saima: Amani tells me your desi food is awesome. Please, mail some to my house.
Mohammed (aka Infamous S): It was love at first sight.
Gilette: I love you for the sake of Allah...I really do. So how about now we buy a pair of these:
http://adbusters.org/metas/corpo/blackspotsneaker/
Talal: I hope your enjoying your trip.
All the writers: Thank you for letting me use your names. I hope no-one got offended insha Allah. I would have put myself in any of the roles...but I figured I'd get a nasty email if I had anyone as a gas station attendant other than myself.
So we've all agreed then(At least I dream so): No diamonds (other than cultured ones), No Wal-Mart, and No brand name shoes.
Wasalaam Warahmatullah Wabarakatu
What's wrong with Wal-mart?
on December 20, 2004 11:28 AM"What's wrong with Wal-mart?"
It's all in the article...
on December 20, 2004 12:04 PMok amani here's the deal:
you come visit me & I give you food to take back. deal ? :)
on December 20, 2004 11:24 PMbiryani sound good ? :)
on December 20, 2004 11:25 PMSounds like a plan to me! Rami will be quite happy (he's been displeased by the quality of the desi food he's had for a while, says it's lost it's "ummf". I think he wants his lips to burn like mine did that day, LOL! And Biryani is perfect...with a recipe for it (and for curry chicken...I think).
Just give me a day and directions (by train!) and I'm there bud! :)
on December 20, 2004 11:31 PMAsalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabaraktu,
This is what first got me thinking about the problem of buying NIKE.
http://adbusters.org/spoofads/fashion/nike/
Wasalaam Warahmatullah Wabarakatu
on December 21, 2004 3:29 AMAd busters is good. So is this.
http://www.corpwatch.org/index.php
Btw, I think EVERY Muslim should read Robert McChesney's "Communication as a Public Good". It deals with the privatization of the media and how special elite interests influence journalism.
on December 21, 2004 7:51 AMTruly the best marriage article on Hidaya so far.
I'm so glad you could all play a part in my big day.
InshaAllah the missus and I'll be back soon :D
salaams
on December 27, 2004 7:16 AM"I'm so glad you could all play a part in my big day.
InshaAllah the missus and I'll be back soon :D"
there are several ways to interpret this statement.
i just don't know any except one.
on December 27, 2004 6:36 PMummm, I dont think there are several ways to interpret that statement. :)
I put my money on that "walking chuss pajama" that he mentioned earlier.
The King has chosen and the fairest kingdom of HidayaOnline will at last have itself a Queen! I feel like getting a tiara made for her that says 'HIDAYA' on the front with jewels :)
on December 28, 2004 3:25 AMAsalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatu,
http://news.independent.co.uk/environment/article322302.ece
"A £1,000 wedding ring - equivalent to one ounce of gold - creates up to 30 tons of toxic waste. To produce that single ounce, miners have to quarry hundreds of tons of rock, which are then doused in a liquid cyanide solution to separate the gold.
In a typical heap-leach operation, huge quantities of rock are crushed and stacked on top of clay and plastic liners to create piles the size of pyramids, which are then drizzled with the cyanide solution for years. As the chemical passes through the rock layers, it teases the gold out of the ore, where it is collected at the bottom and processed further. As little as one ounce of gold can be extracted from 30 tons of low-grade ore.
The cyanide waste produced from gold mining is stored in reservoirs. Spills from these lakes have made their way into water systems with fatal consequences for the environment, wildlife and local communities.
Just such a leak in Romania in 2000 led to the worst environmental disaster in the region since the meltdown of the nuclear reactor at Chernobyl. Tons of cyanide-laced water broke through a dam and poured into the Tisza and Danube rivers from the Aural gold mine near Baia Mare. The results were devastating; more than 1,000 tons of fish were killed, while plantlife and birds along the river were devastated."
on October 27, 2005 7:55 AMMore reasons not to buy conflict diamonds:
http://www.fguide.org/Bulletin/conflictdiamonds.htm
I was talking to my father the other day, and he mentioned how nowadays the "kids" seem to want to buy diamonds more than anything else. It didn't make sense to him, since he knew from experience that diamonds aren't investments, they only lose value.
It was an interesting shift (though one with an effort behind it), from an age when couples bought gold, which acted as an investment when such a time arose, instead of probably worthless diamonds.
Do diamonds still captivate today's Muslim women, or do they see through the ploy?
on January 27, 2006 8:38 PM
Alhumdulillah, some of them see through the ploy and don't want anything to do with real diamonds.
on January 28, 2006 9:09 AMSalaam:
With the introduction of simulated diamonds, the rarity of diamonds may not be all that anymore, as it has been in the past, even though De Beers would like you to think otherwise...
I personally think, GOLD is still the standard; the price of Gold has been rising and so it is a more stable investment for a lady/family then anything else out there...
...But then the question raised by Br. Talal is very poignant...so, can the sisters actually accept CZ instead of Diamonds to quench their thirst for a carat of gem on their finger...I sincerely hope so...insha'Allah!
"Do diamonds still captivate today's Muslim women, or do they see through the ploy?"
Well...I'm making Dua that Allah grants me a real 'diamond' of a husband...I don't care much for a diamond ring!
on January 29, 2006 3:30 AM"Well...I'm making Dua that Allah grants me a real 'diamond' of a husband...I don't care much for a diamond ring!"
yeah, you say that now.
on January 29, 2006 12:00 PMWell...If I get a diamond of a husband and he gets me the ring then who am I refute his love :p
on January 29, 2006 1:35 PMI guess I'm asking about that as well. A husband can be a diamond, sure, but would you still encourage the idea of buying a diamond. Would you proactively tell your husband "You know what, diamonds aren't this girls best friend (so listen to Ummi wa Baba, and buy gold)"?
on January 29, 2006 10:10 PMI personally would buy gold,
I mean, I wanted the gold taht arab women wear on their forehead, and my dad is like that's arab culture, but then my dad let me do my gold shopping from Saudi so did my in-laws.
I am not crazy about diammonds, they are just the deception of this world.
And Muslim woman, there are no diamond husbands,
tahts in Jannah, baby :)
as salaamu 'alaikum,
"Would you proactively tell your husband "You know what, diamonds aren't this girls best friend (so listen to Ummi wa Baba, and buy gold)"?"
yes, I would. perhaps just like that. I have no desire for jewelry that was aquired in such a manner, not to mention the points about it going down in value etc.
gold is better than diamonds for sure...
on January 30, 2006 10:45 AMAssalamu alaikum,
Well ...I tried to resist being the dour voice of doom because almost everything we (over)consume has some less than beneficial eco/social consequences ... but I couldn't help myself...
even though I don't know of any incidences of the gold industry directly harming Muslims like the diamond trade, gold mining too is wreaking havoc on the health and environment in many parts of the developing world and has been linked to human rights abuses and the murders of protesting community members. Check out http://www.nodirtygold.org/.
On the bright side, there are ways to make the trade more eco-friendly. I recently came across a "no dirty gold" pledge asking retailers to insist on socially-friendly gold-mining practices .. wouldn't it be cool to see the local desi gold retailers refusing to sell 'dirty gold' ... very far-fetched, but a nice idea ...
P.S. I'm not advocating against gold in any way ... my mom would disown me if I did :0) ... but perhaps we don't absolutely need to have a whole 'pot of gold' to get married either?
on January 30, 2006 12:25 PMSalaam:
A potential groom should be able to provide the following (if marrying in Pakistan):
1- One Large/Heavy Wedding GOLD set, which includes necklace, two earrings, and one ring, and atleast 6-12 Gold bangles.
(this is not going to be used more that 1-3 times, this is more like investement for the lady)
Overall range cost ~$2K-5K (based on buying in Pakistan or India, more if you buy it here in USA)
Additionally, a light Gold set of necklace and tops is also preffered so that the bride can wear it more regularly. Cost is ~$1K-2K
2- Dress for bride:
Overall cost of the Shararah or Ghararah (which is to be worn no more than 1-3 times) is ~$1K
In addition...
You have to buy like atleast 5-10 shalwar kameez dresses for her to be worn at home as a newly wed.
3- Dresses for Brides' family:
Meaning dress for your father in law, brothers, and mother in law. The cost depends on how many siblings does your new potential wife have...approximate cost could be $100 per person
4- Gifts for all bride's sisters/close aunts/cousin (like gold ear rings or tops). This is again based on the number of siblings that bride have but the cost could be close to $200 per person
5- Other miscellaneous gifts/clothing with cost of upto $500.
Ergo, we are looking at approximately ~$10K worth of gifts and jewelley provided by the groom to her potential wife (and her family).
Moreover, the actual cost of wedding reception is in addition to all above.
So, safe to say, we are looking at ~$20K or higher if you really want to host a grand wedding in pakistan...
The above approximation does not inlcude Mahr...nor the housing, nor the furniture and all those tangible neccessary luxuries of life...
I actually dont know, how much it costs a groom for a wedding in Egypt or any other Arab world...
Ma'Assalaama
Salaam:
My above post was to point out that the frivilous spending that some of us do in honoring a Sunnah which should be best practiced with minimum expenditure...
And, I pray that I marry my daughter by the Sunnah (when she is born and grown up, Insha'Allah), and not get influenced by any cultural distortion of this sunnah...Ameen
on January 31, 2006 8:34 PM