I really really enjoyed this story, mashaAllah. Wonderfully written. Definitely a service to the Ummah.
The comments…
- Fankers? Flat-front? Zegna?
Is this English? Why don’t I understand what these words are?
Is the typical non-metrosexual muslim male really this into fashion logos? Have we turned into a nation of sissy-boys? This is sad. These guys want to look good for a woman so they turn to the western advertised lifestyle to tell them what ‘looking good’ is. You hear that? That’s the sound of the muslim identity of a generation (which ‘should’ have been mobilized for dawah) being flushed down the crapper.
- As someone who finds it difficult to frivolously attach/crush (emotional space is the hottest of commodities), I find it fascinating that men can have such an intense and long-lasting reaction to a woman who they only saw once. For women, obsession is generally a longer process that depends upon sustained contact. For women infatuation has more to do with the mind than with the eyes. It takes much much more than a pretty face to get us thinking about a guy.
- Is marriage the only thing single muslim guys talk about when together? I once considered a guy who told me that male conversation doesn’t change much after they get married and that it simply goes from talk of ‘marriage’ to ‘second marriage’.
- I don’t recall ever believing that there was a such thing as ‘the One’. Who said there is only 'one'? Why should there just be one? That’s a depressing thought.
- I understand that they were chasing a hijab, but when were they chasing a ‘niqab’? Why does that word keep coming up?
Salaam Br. Talal:
One thing, its rather disconcerting to me to hear Ali and Gibran as "tasty", "deserts". These words perhaps, are more suited for females coming from a male....and that Keeanu Reeves comment, again not needed.
Other than that, its rather amusing...hahahaha...I can comment a whole lot on the situation of the brothers, but that would have to wait till I have more time to type here.
Ma'Assalaama
on January 12, 2005 9:18 AM"Fankers? Flat-front? Zegna?
Is this English?"
The average muslim male probably isn't reflective of Ali and Gibran's fashion sense (unless of course, there's actually someone who they want to impress... then who needs GQ and Vogue).
I'll say one thing though, some guys actually wear this stuff 'cause it feels good. I mean, yeah, spending over a hundred dollars on a pair of Diesel jeans is crazy and all, but I won't deny that they are a comfortably fitted pair of jeans.
"I find it fascinating that men can have such an intense and long-lasting reaction to a woman who they only saw once"
Indeedily sad. But just in case sisters are thinking worhtless of brothers... it takes more than just a look for the feelin to be anything but of the lustful kind.
"It takes much much more than a pretty face to get us thinking about a guy."
I would've agreed with you in the past... but you give women way too much credit. really.
"but when were they chasing a ‘niqab’"
This being part of the point of the story. Sure, in this incident, they were chasing the Hijab, but it's all a part of that "hijab 'n' niqab" mindset.
Imagine I described Jennifer as wearing a Niqab with some Kuhl... same ol' story (though the ending would be structured a bit differently).
(Spin the Bottle, why don't you?
http://www.hidayaonline.com/archives/000171.html )
"Ali and Gibran as "tasty", "deserts" "
You might want to read those lines again...
Salaam:
Some general comments...
1) Men into fashion accessories/logo; Yes this is rather true. I have seen men spend a lot on fashion accessories and apparels (not just for its comfort, quality or appeal) but also as a token to demonstrate their wealth and presumed status (this is for men of all ages)...Once I was invited to a dinner in Nigeria by this banker who worked for one private bank. Among the invitees was another manager employed by the World Bank covering the West African region. So there were a lot of movers and shakers in that dinner-party (all of them were Pakistanis). During the usual chit-chat I saw the host flash his wrist at a certain angle such that his new ~$25000 ROLEX watch can glitter in the eyes of the banker from World Bank. And the host did this several times to make sure the other one knows what he has, as it was especifically aimed for the other banker...I was quietly observing this and thought...what a looser!
2) What do men talk about? Usually, men have egos (not all but most)and they generally boast about everything, if they can help it. If they are fathers, they talk about their kids doing this or that, if they are sportsmen or into sports they will talk about sports or their team or a specific player...I have, however, seen more men complaint about their wives then say good things about their spouses (this is more true in western society). I actually was once talking to this group of older men and brought the point that we men dont give enough credit to our spouses for the amount of work they do on a daily basis (for instance, managing daily chores at home while being a student or a career women) and yet we men dont help them as much...to this all men were quiet for a brief moment and then one of them quipped, well we do less but we claim most of the credit for it!!...and everyone started to laugh!
Older Muslim Men are prone to touch on polygamous relationship if marriage topic does come up, especially by older men who are already married. Single muslim men (depending on their character) will talk about ladies as potential marriage partners, usually.
3) "The one": Yes this phrase is far too common among young muslim men, then we would care to acknowledge. Once we are smitten by a lady, we tend to justify our being with that "special One" no matter what the hurdles or obstacles that may come in between. Somebody said, the younger they are, the more hope you can give them. So, generally if a young man gets deeply infatuated by a cute face or character, no matter what you say to him (including suggesting other potential ladies) he is not going to let go of "the one", easily....there are exceptions, however, to the above.
Br. Talal...jazak Allah Khair for pointing out. Your comments were wrapped around the desert sand and Tasty Nihari, but still to describe an appearance of a man rather with those simile could have sufficed by mentioning being bonny or dandy!...Again this is just my opinion, maybe its me who is being paranoid here :)
on January 12, 2005 4:27 PMYou are right. Lemme rephrase that from
"It takes much much more than a pretty face to get us thinking about a guy."
to
"It takes much much more than a single glance at a pretty face to get us repeatedly thinking about a guy for marriage."
on January 12, 2005 4:27 PMWhy arent people commenting on Hidaya anymore? Its like summer2004 all over again. People need to hurry up and realize that their real lives are not that important and start commenting on Hidaya again.
on January 12, 2005 4:33 PM"It takes much much more than a single glance at a pretty face to get us repeatedly thinking about a guy for marriage."
At the end of the day, I'd say this goes for the average Muslim man as well.
Are you trying to say that men and women think the same way about lust/love/marriage?
...I feel like hidaya's articles are taking me in circles...
on January 12, 2005 5:51 PMSalaam:
Women need constant messages, consistent reminders and persistent effort from the suitor to consider him as potential mate...A lot of the men, however, fizzle out rather quick.
Men, on the other hand are more restless and expect an immediate response (from women) to their proposals and shower of affection.
The above is generally applicable, not always!
on January 12, 2005 6:41 PMOf course the articles take you in circles... that way you can never get out. ever.
on January 13, 2005 12:39 AM"Women need constant messages, consistent reminders and persistent effort from the suitor to consider him as potential mate"
Actually, unless there is a spark right away, the only message that that that sends is 'annoying stalker'. Directness is appreciated, but once she gives a direct 'no' thats the direct cue to directly back oneself down. Some women like space and a nagging suitor (or worse, potential suitor) who is constantly demanding attention can be one of the most annoying forces on the planet.
on January 13, 2005 1:14 AM"... that way you can never get out. ever."
...dont I know it...
on January 13, 2005 1:17 AM"Some women like space and a nagging suitor (or worse, potential suitor) who is constantly demanding attention can be one of the most annoying forces on the planet."
hahahaha.....I am sorry for the lady and pity the potential suitor...has to be one desperate chap!
on January 13, 2005 1:29 AMI dont know, I like the blond girl Ramirez. They really gave up on her too quickly if you ask me.
Umm.. I forgot what I was gonna say about this.umm....aah....oh yeah! I think guys and girls are pretty much the same, for some it is "love first glance/sight" for others not so.
"It takes much much more than a pretty face to get us thinking about a guy."
I would've agreed with you in the past... but you give women way too much credit. really.
I agree with this statement...dont ask.
As Salaamu Alaikum
lol-Really enjoyed that
May allah protect us from unlawful gazes.Ameen
Was Salaam
Was Salaam
on March 5, 2005 2:47 PM